What I learned Coaching Kids Soccer

I am so proud of these boys!

This past weekend my son's soccer season wrapped up - actually I should say that me and my sons just finished our soccer season, as I was the coach of his team.  WHAT A RIDE.

For those of you who have never coached kids sports, I highly encourage it - not only is it fun, it  makes you feel good to give back to the community, and it teaches you ... in fact it teaches you a lot.

Here I am, a 20 year veteran of the Marine Corps who has led Marines for my entire adult life.  I figured that coaching a kids sports team would be my chance to impart my vast knowledge of the world on these young impressionable minds.  While I did teach them something, I think I learned a lot more from the experience.

Here are some of the great things I learned from coaching 9 year-olds:

My cheering looked
just like this!

1) It is all about the praise - especially public praise - I could literally see any player stand taller and hold his head higher when I shouted to him that he did something well.  They literally beamed.  We all like to be acknowledged - especially publicly in front of our peers.  When one of my players did something right, I would shout his name, and give him a thumbs up and say "great job."  They ate it up.  No matter how much we grow up, we all love that thumbs up - especially in front of out peers.

2) Encouragement picks us up after a mistake.  When one of my boys made a bad play, I called his name, and said - "that's alright - great effort."  In one swoop, I told them that their mistake wasn't a huge deal and that I appreciated how they tried.  We all beat ourselves up when we do something wrong.  It means a lot when someone else tells us that, its all right.


3) Criticism needs to be brief, to the point, and private.  When a player made a more major mistake, I would wait until they came out of the game, I would get down to their level, and I would explain what they did wrong - in a quiet voice.  I would tell them what they should have done instead.  The whole conversation would be about 30 seconds.  None of us wants to be called out for our mistakes in public.  Plus, sometimes we need to be told what we should have done instead.

4) Its all about the team.  The focus was never on one player's accolades, it was on how the team did as a whole.  Everyone on the team knows who the best players are - no need to point it out further.  Focusing on the team lets everyone feel like they are playing their part.  Singling out individuals players makes a team a group of individuals, not a team.

So, if you can praise in public, encourage, criticize in private, and focus on the team, you can coach a kids' soccer team.  You can also be a great leader of adults too.  Can you handle it?