What I learned Coaching Kids Soccer

I am so proud of these boys!

This past weekend my son's soccer season wrapped up - actually I should say that me and my sons just finished our soccer season, as I was the coach of his team.  WHAT A RIDE.

For those of you who have never coached kids sports, I highly encourage it - not only is it fun, it  makes you feel good to give back to the community, and it teaches you ... in fact it teaches you a lot.

Here I am, a 20 year veteran of the Marine Corps who has led Marines for my entire adult life.  I figured that coaching a kids sports team would be my chance to impart my vast knowledge of the world on these young impressionable minds.  While I did teach them something, I think I learned a lot more from the experience.

Here are some of the great things I learned from coaching 9 year-olds:

My cheering looked
just like this!

1) It is all about the praise - especially public praise - I could literally see any player stand taller and hold his head higher when I shouted to him that he did something well.  They literally beamed.  We all like to be acknowledged - especially publicly in front of our peers.  When one of my players did something right, I would shout his name, and give him a thumbs up and say "great job."  They ate it up.  No matter how much we grow up, we all love that thumbs up - especially in front of out peers.

2) Encouragement picks us up after a mistake.  When one of my boys made a bad play, I called his name, and said - "that's alright - great effort."  In one swoop, I told them that their mistake wasn't a huge deal and that I appreciated how they tried.  We all beat ourselves up when we do something wrong.  It means a lot when someone else tells us that, its all right.


3) Criticism needs to be brief, to the point, and private.  When a player made a more major mistake, I would wait until they came out of the game, I would get down to their level, and I would explain what they did wrong - in a quiet voice.  I would tell them what they should have done instead.  The whole conversation would be about 30 seconds.  None of us wants to be called out for our mistakes in public.  Plus, sometimes we need to be told what we should have done instead.

4) Its all about the team.  The focus was never on one player's accolades, it was on how the team did as a whole.  Everyone on the team knows who the best players are - no need to point it out further.  Focusing on the team lets everyone feel like they are playing their part.  Singling out individuals players makes a team a group of individuals, not a team.

So, if you can praise in public, encourage, criticize in private, and focus on the team, you can coach a kids' soccer team.  You can also be a great leader of adults too.  Can you handle it?

Leaders Need to do More than Talk.

So, I read this article yesterday, and it made me think - there are many, many artilcles, blogs posts and even books that all provide a list of things leaders should say - be it every day or every week.  Indeed, I ran a Google search on "things leaders say," and I got over 197 MILLION hits.  That's a lot of talking. 

Now, I think most of these articles are awesome and provide great advice - there are lots of good leadership lessons in them. 

However, reading through these articles, they focus more on the speaking than on the doing.  We have all heard the phrase "If you are going to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk."  As a leader, talking the talk will work for a few weeks - by then, if you are not walking the walk, your fancy leadership talk falls on deaf ears. 

 This is why I think  instead of focusing on "what leaders should say," we should focus on what leaders should do.  First, actions speak a lot louder than words; and second, if you do the right thing, you will naturally say the right thing as well. 

Again, the ideas in the article linked above and the dozens of other similar articles out there are great ideas.  However, many of the suggestions will come naturally to a leader who embodies the Leadership Traits. 

Many of these articles suggest that a leader should share the credit and support his people - in other words, a leader should be unselfish and loyal. 

If you are an unselfish and loyal leader, you will say "Thank You;" you will ask you people for their opinions, you will share credit with your people.  It will all come naturally - IF you have the correct attitude and embrace the proper leadership characteristics. 

My advice to you is not to worry about what to say - worry about how to be.  Be unselfish, be loyal, be supportive, be a LEADER, and you will say the right things. 

Can you walk the walk? 



 

Lessons From 20 Years of Service in the Marine Corps

That's Right - Listen to this Old Man!

About two weeks ago I hit a milestone – I crossed the magic 20 year mark in my Marine Corps career.  For everyone who has ever put on a uniform, the 20 year target is a big one – it means that you can now retire with your pension.   

For me, though, the 20 year mark has been a testament to dedication and endurance; while thoroughly enjoyable, it has not been an easy 20 year run. 

What it has been, however, is 20 great years of leadership lessons.  When I look back to the bright-eyed young 2^nd Lieutenant I was 20 years ago, I can really appreciate all of the lessons I have learned from 20 years in uniform. 

In honor of my 20 years of service, here are 20 Rules of Leadership that I have learned during my Marine Corps career:

      1)      Leaders lead from the front – this doesn’t mean you drag your people behind you, it means that you take on the same risk – or more – that you ask your people to take.

      2)      Leaders set the example – You are always watched, and you need to do the right thing, all the time; don’t ask your people to do things you cannot or will not do – you are the barometer. 

      3)      Leaders have a plan – Even if it is a basic plan, and even if it needs to be changed, you have to have a plan, otherwise you are running in circles.

      4)      But, Leaders are flexible – Never, ever, ever fall in love with your plan, you need to be able to change when you need to

      5)      Leaders are decisive – A leader has to make decisions, especially when it is hard, a failure to make a decision, at a minimum wastes time and resources.

      6)      Leaders trust their instincts (but look before they leap) – It is easier to be decisive when you trust your gut; great leaders have good instincts and learn to trust them – however, no matter how much a leader trusts his gut, he still needs to reflect a moment before making a final decision

      7)      Leaders know their people – You cannot lead strangers, if you don’t know your people, you cannot play to their strengths, and you cannot improve their weaknesses.

      8)      Leaders always tell the truth – Even when it hurts, once your integrity is compromised, you cannot get it back.

      9)      Leaders take care of their people – This doesn’t mean you baby them – there is a tragic story of a platoon of Marines being killed in their sleeping bags during the Chosin Reservoir Campaign – the platoon commander wanted them to get warm, but truly taking care of them met pushing them to do the right thing – being ready to fight. 

     10)   Leaders are loyal – Not just to their superiors, but to their people, leaders support their people, their seniors and their institution. 

   

      Click Through for the next 10 Rules

    

Back From A Hiatus

For those of you who have been following this blog, I apologize for the multiple week absence.  I have been juggling a few major professional changes and haven't had the chance to sit down and write anything for the past three weeks.

I have a couple of posts drafted, and promise to get the posts flowing again in the near future.